Surviving Lent

It is possible to smile so much your face gets sore. I realized last week at work. One of the folks I work with nearly laughed their head off when I told them what my goal for Lent is. The response was, "You'll never make it!"

Not exactly encouraging, huh?

Well, it's been nearly a week, and so far, so good.

Ash Wednesday

I think of the 40 days of Lent as a time to be reflective and repentant as way of preparing for Easter, the holiest day in the Christian calendar. For me, it's a time that, in some small way, parallels the 40 days Jesus spent wandering in the wildness being tempted by Satan.

Lots of people "give up" something as a means of sacrifice during Lent. Because I didn't grow up doing that, I've often tried to "take something on," usually something that will require more of me than I usually give.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent, and I haven't decided what to take on. Certainly, I could be more "chipper" at work and nicer to folks I don't particularly care for, but I think I want to reach higher this year.

So here's what I've decided:
I want to be able to go to bed each evening knowing that I've lived a good day- that I've strived, honestly and sincerely, to be a better person than I've ever been.

Personally, it's not practical to think about being "the best person I can be" because that'll set me up to feel like a failure for 40 days, especially since I'm not even sure I know what my "best" is. But I do know when I've done "better" than before, which means that I'll have a means of self-reflective and evaluation.

I want to wake up on Easter morning knowing that I've spent this time constantly striving to be a better person, with the intent that it'll put me closer to the person G*d intended me to be.

Public Privacy

Today is the 21st day of Lent. And I've finally decided that it's okay that I'm not telling anyone what I'm doing to "observe." I sorta feel like it's supposed to be private. You know- the whole notion of those who pray in public get their reward in public.

So, I'm "in private" this time. Although I have to admit it is a little harder to stay focused now that I don't have the world as my witness. That's probably part of the point, huh?

I'm in the midst of a (seemingly endless) job search. Task for today: finishing a 7 page job application. Yes, 7 pages. For a dentist. But then again, it is kind of nice to be asked how best to manage me.